Porn is love you can see.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
