i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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