I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
