Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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