he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
