I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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