My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
