Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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