FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
