On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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