Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
