Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
