I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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