Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
