My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I understand Curling. That high.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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