You're completely useless in the revolution.
He felt like a one man threesome
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
