So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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