official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I wear drunk well.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
