I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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