The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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