well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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