Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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