I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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