Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
