I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
