Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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