It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
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I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
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