I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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