the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize