Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
