i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
