I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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