I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
