Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
