it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
