party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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