No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
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