Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize