3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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