Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
