I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
