I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
