I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
