In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
the liver wants what the liver wants
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
