I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
