so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Sober January is a disaster.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
