you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
