the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
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