haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Can't talk, ducks in the car
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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