community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
