do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
