butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize
