My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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