just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
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