It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
