What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
