no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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