Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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