He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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