remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
