Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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