it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
