Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Randomize