VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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