Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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