Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
you're hired as official boob wrangler
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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