Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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