Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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