I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
