I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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