Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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