maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
